人生/輪孫

　　星期五下午，懷著剛考完最後一科期末考的興奮之情，我踏入許久未見的聯經書店，享受閱讀帶來的單純愉悅。上一次買自己喜歡而想看，而不是為了學校要用的書已經是很久以前了。我花了將近一個半小時在書店，只為了替我的旅程選擇一本合適的書。其實我會逛那麼久，是因為那裏有很多很吸引人的精采小說，不過最後我還是選了一本不是那麼引人注目的《歸鄉》。這本書吸引我的主要原因有兩個：其中一個是它的作者是德國人，而歸鄉這個主題與德國人在兩次大戰以後，被世人以及自己壓抑的心境有密切關連，而這種懷有現世關懷或時代及個人情感的作品，是我一直以來都很喜愛的；另一個原因是歸鄉的主題與我這段旅程的意義，有某種程度上的契合。我花時間到美國和紐西蘭打工，賺取金錢、練習英文和拓展視野，這些都只是次要目的。我的主要目的，我想還是尋找自我。故事中的主角彼得，為了尋找童年時讀過的書的最後幾頁結局，脫離了生活原有的常軌，踏上「歸鄉」之途。他回到他的故鄉，然後發現他所尋找的解答，其實是他童年生活的一部分。

　　由於我還沒看完這本書，對於書的了解只掌握到此。如同我剛剛所說的，「歸鄉」這個主題與我的旅程有某種程度上的關聯，使我想要尋找應該屬於我人生那重要的意義，而啟程旅行，正是解答之一。然而我知道，就如烏托邦一樣，尋找答案的旅程永遠不會結束，而且結束並不代表我的人生定義完成，相反地，是死亡。我想我正是這樣的人，喜歡的、著迷的，其實都是記憶中自己完成想像的那種美好，並不是現實中可以觸摸得到的。這點我在愛情上有著深刻的體認，而對於人生看法，我現在也得出了相同的結論。希望當我讀完這本書時，我仍能保有這種探索的心情，並且有更進一步的成長。

　　當我起飛抵達LA之後，我同時也發現，我有更多的現實課題必須學習。除了一般的生活瑣事處理，更重要的我想是人際關係的調和。大學四年中，我對於自己充實了不少，現在，也該是時間訓練建立和諧的人際關係了。

  The first day of my journey, in the mean while, the last day of my university life. There was no sadness about the end of my student life, instead, I expected it for the next few years after my graduation.

  The rainy afternoon in Taipei, I walked to my favorite book store and enjoyed the pure joy of reading. It’s been a long time since the last time I bought a book for personal need, instead of school. I spend almost half and an hour to pick up just one book for my journey. There were really a lot of nice novels attracted me, but in the final, I picked up a unpopular one, Die Heimkehr. The main reasons which pushed me to buy this book were two. First, the author is a famous German novelist, whose name is Schrink. I’d studied German for a year, although this one is a Chinese version, I still think it will help me to understand German. Second, and also the more important reason, I regarded my trip to USA and New Zealand as the journey of discover myself, and the theme of the book is just so similar to my trip, “searching”. The main role, Peter, went on his way to find the end of the book which he read in his childhood, and he finally found the answer was just a part of him.

(There are still two parts of this blog, but I don’t want to translate it into English now, please just read it in Chinese, or skip it.)